credit to ice

A tree. The sun setting. A man sitting by the tree..looking blankly at one corner of the world painted by the blood of the sun as it says goodbye to the him.

Whenever I look at a picture of a sunset, I feel peace and it makes my heart smile. I just love this scenery.

I havent gotten to write something about anything these days. I was busy drowning myself with music. I plug my headset in and volume it all up. dont want to hear thier voices, thier words that cant seem to get out of the walls in my head, they are bouncing back and forth. I didnt know I was really busy till i got tired and felt that i wanted to rest.

I fell like im back to my kfc days, days when I know no other music but alternative. Looking around, browsing some profiles, entertaining myself with the pictures of some old friends, wondering whats so exciting bout them nowadays. I see some of them are still playing for thier bands, wla a silang kinikita but they are really happy creating thier music and drowning thier souls with it. I was really trying to keep myself busy.

I was still floating on the last note of the last song when I got a message saying "hello, nice meeting you. i see you are a poet. it's nice. i used to be one. im ice" from someone with a dark clown on her profile. I first thought he/she is someone I know, I even thought she was joice coz she goes by icy and i guess she will greet me with the same words..if ever. We had to talk for hours before i realized that she was really not who I was suspecting, that she a complete stranger. then she goes,"I wish you could be my friend. just here not in the real world. just someone who doesn't know me, whom i could bravely share my stories with. and you can do the same" . It was folowed by a brave conversation. "I would say pareho tayo in most way, I guess. We both know that solitude is addictive. I was surpised to know na mas bata ka sakin, u seemed to know a lot, way much than I do.. U are very intriguing, I guess nakikita ko ang sarili ko if I happened to be a girl" I said. It went on and I didnt know I started bursting out lahat ng sama ng loob ko, little by little. We talk about almost anything "I agree with you..those are beatiful..even death. death is not a sin..unless you cause your own death, thats immoral. marami na ang nabighani ng ganda ng kamatayan, too bad its late for them to realized they will end weeping..lured by the captivating beauty of death. well., i guess napagbigyan ko na ang galit ko, tapos na yon para sakin.." sabi ko. Around 2am, nakatulog nako.

It wa a little spooky, we just talked about death the last time and she said "my aunt died . just yesterday. but she had been sick for nearly one year." on the new message i got. I extended my condolence.

Something got me thinking. what would it be like? how does does it feel saying goodbye to the world.
Then I remember the sun..then the man, then the most beautiful feeling i can ever describe. The sunset.
I know I want to be there someday. The man, ..sitting by the tree, possesing the most beatiful feeling... with eyes gradually shutting and heart melting down ..by the overflowing beauty his eyes can behold..cherishing the sweetness of the sunset air, making it up as his sight blurs and eyes shut. Completely.

"Im really amazed by your words and pretty much the way you are, and guess you're brave enough to talk about "death". but you know, death is beautiful..the reason why I like goth music and the only thing gothic music suggests. Im not even afraid of it. nakakatakot cguro isipin how are you going to die, but death itself, no. just put Him in your heart, youll realized you dont have to be afraid it. We both are too young for this wold to perish, we have to write a shelf-full of stories pa. I just want to share something bout that word which is pretty much close to dark, night, emo, goth and solitude which best describe the thing that we both have, both into.
also, I dont know but the emo kind of beauty or gothic beauty really captures me. we both or I guess we all have dark sides inhibiting our bodies and it is cool to know to know that im sharing thoughts about this with someone on the other side of this computer..
very seldom do I talk like this to my friends." -eman.

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