The Aftermath

"I had a bird I took care of but his cage turned unhealthy for him, I set him free". As she tries to hold her tears, I know those words nailed everything she wanted to say.

Now, is the aftermath of a life after her. The chapter in my book of life where I found direction, where I felt security and where I was warmth with love.. has ended. My life on track, as I fly free, is vanished in the thin air.Just like the old days, here I come again, terrified by the brewing summer storm hidden from my view.

I sometimes ask myself, "why is this twisted tale?" "why is this personality?". She gave me everything but "what kind of price catch in life am I after?". As I go through, I realize that there are amazingly difficult things to wrap our brains around, just like modern science with sophisticated tools to answer its questions and satisfy its curiosity having, ..still, its own holy grail. That is, even after all the laws of physics come together, there are things science can barely understand.


I can see beauty somehow, and I guess, thats the reason why I sometimes find myself trying to overindulge with those questions. I know the answers are beautiful, and just like the most beautiful characteristic of beauty for me, the answers are, skin deep. I know, the answers may just be hidden deep within me or is just around, in a cunning disguise. That makes life beautiful, full of surprises.

If we are to recreate everything, we sure want to make it ideal, so surreal with some dreamy effect on it. But life is justt not like that, it is real and is not ideal, for most. Life has breaking points.

Everything happens for a reason, and what happened, is just something we cannot rewrite. Every turning point is significant and I dont blame myself much for my decisions, for I know, that at one point, thats what I wanted. I want her to gain back all the love for herself that she lost when she found me.

She is one the most beautiful things that happened to me, and this is a thank-you-for-everything. I want her to feel that she has moved me to be a better person and that our story will always thrill me and will keep me on the edge of my seat in every time I go back and read our story. The difference between life and death is just a blink of an eye. I want everything to be back in place, I want our story to be a lullaby as she falls asleep, soundly and securely, before I leave in the dead of the night, before the bird fly far away, before I cease seeing beauty of life, before Im a dead meat.